Facts You need to know to protect Yourself

Growing Self Awareness

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1. During  their childhood and teens they experienced some kind of severe, on-going abuse or trauma. As a result of that constant trauma, deep inside they failed to develop empathy, boundaries and a healthy sense of self-esteem. Worse, they failed to grow up emotionally.

2. At the same time they they learned how to live under the spell of an old childhood belief (false) that real power existed outside them and their only hope lay in finding ways to get hold of some of that outside power by any means, fair or unfair, honest or dishonest, kind or cruel.

3. They discovered a talent, some kind of special skill,  that helped them gain power and they developed that talent  until it became exceptional, worked really well for them and helped them gain power.

4. They created a set of masks  that allowed them to use that special skill more and more as a way of gaining increased power from other people

5. At the same time they developed other skills to undermine, disempower, negate or reduce power in other people around them, especially family members. That also helped them feel more powerful.

6. They discovered that when they created vulnerable feelings in others they felt more powerful, less vulnerable and a bit better inside.

7. They justified doing this with a twisted rationalisation that since they were feeling vulnerable it must be fair that those around them should feel vulnerable too.

8. Each of these patterns became a part of a very powerful protection system in the hands of a badly damaged individual.

Knowing this is your greatest protection but letting them know that you know could create danger for you. Best to keep it quiet.

So, while NBP Player people may inflict massive damage and cause terrible pain to those around them, they are actually very badly damaged individuals rather than mean and nasty people who In their childhood and teens experienced severe on-going abuse or trauma.
What you need to do and not do:

* Because deep down inside they don’t feel at all confident about themselves it’s as though they can’t bear having someone else near to them  feeling OK or confident!. Keep a lid on your self confidence and your positive strengths when you are near them.

* Remind yourself, about the reasons they feel they have to be exceptionally skilled at doing the things they do (good and bad alike). Forget this for one moment and you  can fall back under their spell.
* Without attention and drama they suffer severe emotional pain. Try to block that and you are right in their firing line.

* Facing the reality about  their own faults, fears and failings is too terrifying. If you try to talk with an NBP Player about this (even using the most calm and kind hearted approach) you will be met with rage or a counterattack so powerful that you will have no choice but to retreat.

* NBP Players will do anything to maintain their position, using their cruel, cunning, complex NBP Player defence systems that keep them safe, hiding behind their false ‘public masks’ but at the same time causing harm to those around them.

These are some of the events that typically lead individuals to develop narcissistic behaviour patterns or NBP Player

Also on this website

More Pages on this website and in your free book:


Introduction to Narcissistic Behaviour Patterns and NBP Players

NBP Explained

Checklist - Signposts that indicate Narcissistic Behaviour Patterns

Facing Reality about  NBP Players - Five areas where you are powerless

Where You do have some real Power over NBP Player games

Games NBP Players like to Play

NBP Player Case Studies and Stories

How NBP Players are created

Back to NBP Players top Page

Addicted to Adrenalin

Why do NBP players need so much drama and attention? Because drama and attention increase their adrenalin levels. It not only helps energise them, they also feel better emotionally.

They discovered a long time ago  how well adrenalin worked for them as an emotional pain blocker, more powerful than alcohol or nicotine (and cheaper). Since each adrenalin “hit” felt so good back then they soon became addicted to it.

Without attention and drama they suffer severe emotional pain. Don’t try to block that or you’ll  end up in a war zone or perhaps a drug war!

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